It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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