Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
