it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
