You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
