my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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