I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
