I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
found the other keg... it's in the tree
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
