she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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