I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you made out with another girl for some wings
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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