hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
