I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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