I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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