There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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