he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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