Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
