he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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