I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
