Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
As shirtless as possible
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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