i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
