The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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