My first STD was from a foam party
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize