But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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