I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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