susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
