So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
