We won't sleep together?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The air was thick with penises
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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