My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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