I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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