I understand Curling. That high.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
