I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
