Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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