Quick, to the slutcave!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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