I'm lost and stupid without you.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize