i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
