He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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