I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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