Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize