do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
