her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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