you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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