Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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