There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
