Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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