She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
