Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
