I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
