Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize