Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize