a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
