I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
