Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize
