Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
