Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
