can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
