I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
