I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
