hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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