guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
