We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
