Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
