Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
