Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
God, I missed his penis.
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