____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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