In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
