so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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