what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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