You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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