One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize