nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the raccoons are back...
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